Grief and Loss

Posted: October 1, 2012 in For the birds
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I love my animals. I have a soft spot for birds. I have been struggling over the fact that I have birds in my family. The fact that I purchased the cockatiels and the conures, contributes to the atrocities that happen to domesticated and wild parrots. I have read and watched horror stories that made me cry for days. I have seen personally more than I could handle emotionally. I fell in love with my GCC Romeo and when she was killed I felt a level of grief I did not think was possible. I have lost close family and friends and nothing compared to this loss. I was shocked by my grief. It has been almost a year since she died and I still mourn her loss everyday. If I hear one more person say “it’s just a bird” I swear I will scream. I want to reply “If you lost a child and I said to you It’s just your kid, how would that make you feel?” I know most people will not understand this love…they have not been lucky enough to be owned by a bird. The only way to fill the hole that is left is by rescuing another bird. The silence left in their absence is unbearable. With conures, who are very affectionate and loving, the cold spot on your shoulder or down the front of your shirt, is a chilling reminder of the love that you’ve lost. The guilt is consuming and haunting. The tears never stop falling. I miss my babies Romeo and Juliet so much that I do not fear death anymore. I look forward to it. I look forward to feeling them nuzzle my cheek, or grab my finger with their little claws. I can’t wait to hear their song again. Until then my girls….wait for us. “and when at last I find you, your song will fill the air. Sing it loud so I can hear you, make it easy to be near you. For the things you do endear you to me. Oh you know I will. I will. ” The Beatles.

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